Just a quick note, if the title throws you off, NO I didn't have a sex change I just acted like the "Girl". Let me explain.
You might remember my article "Disadvantages of Dating a hot chick" and even reading back on the article, I can clearly see how I was a shell of my former self. Months ago I met this amazing woman, beautiful, sexy with an attractive personality. I realized early on this was going to be an uphill battle, but as a guy there is always something a little intriguing about a challenge so I went for it. Getting a date with this girl (despite the fact one night we made-out at a bar) seemed impossible. I knew she was attracted to me and I asked her out a few times with the result being her flaking out or saying "No"
Any other girl in this situation I would have been long gone. If a girl isn't thrilled about hanging out with you for a second time, see ya later ! Her sex appeal kept me intrigued, but living by my motto of "never chase a girl" I would play it cool, and pursue other girls. The times I would randomly see her we would clearly have a connection, but still no date. I put the situation on the back burner. Finally one random hungover Sunday, I shot her a text asking her out for a date and she finally accepted. The date went great and we would follow it up with a date shortly after that a week later. She resisted kissing me the entire time, which made me think she was hiding a guy, or just still playing hard to get. That was until one night and a little bit of booze she pounced on me like a scene in a porno. Ok it was hard to get. It was hot, in fact one of the biggest turn ons for any guy have a woman desire you that much. The sex was amazing, unlike anything I have ever experienced. My confidence shot through the roof. I became drunk with sexual attraction
The weeks following we would continue to go on little dates, sleep together, I felt like a rockstar. My thinking at the time was that this was headed for a great relationship. The more I learned with her opening up to me, the more I thought this was something real. There comes a point in every dating cycle where both parites can get comfortable, cut out the games and let emotion take over where you can relax. This is where things took a turn for the worse
Before I left for a vacation, I made it clear I wanted more than just friends with benefits, that this was something really real (yes its a mistake, something I never do). She said she wasn't ready, and honestly with how happy I became the weeks prior, I didn't care and decided to give her some space. Basically she was playing the role of the guy in the situation, and I was acting like the obsessed schoolgirl. During my vacation we texted every day, sometimes more so me than her. I threw logic out the window and took the roller coaster ride of emotion instead. I didn't even care about being on vacation, I just wanted to spend more time with her. Dare I say I was falling for her ? Wait not Wally ? But I clearly was. When I arrived back, she treated me like a boyfriend, picked me up from the airport, bought me gifts, I thought that despite everything I know about women (that you shouldn't show too much interest) my instinct had somehow worked.
We spent every single day together when we got back, things seemed like they were on the right track. But then on one night she would get drunk and tell me she slept with someone else while I was away. I was shocked, and disappointed, because I wasn't even thinking about other girls on my vacation, I really thought we were committed to each other. In any other situation I would have kicked her to the bricks and ended things there. But like I said I was drunk on attraction. Also I considered the fact she admitted this to me and that technically we "weren't together" so I let it slide. Stupid move Wally, stupid move
She would go on vacation with her family shortly after our little couples binge, and even before she left she seemed generally upset about leaving me. While on vacation we would text here and there, she even called me a few times, again I thought things appeared on the right track. However when she arrived back things immediately changed. She pulled away, ignored me, didn't even want to see me, despite leaving a few items at my apartment before the trip she need to pickup. I began texting her a bunch (like the obsessed girl who becomes ignored) but getting no response, she was in full fledged ignore mode. Eventually she would text me that she was "dealing with stuff" and she was sorry. She would eventually call me, come over and things were extremely awkward. This is the point I expected her to tell me how she had some orgy while she was on vacation and couldn't handle my wrath of anger. Instead she started crying saying how much she missed me and it scared her how much she really did care for me. I was bamboozled, this was not the outcome I expected. As a guy, to have a girl crying over how much she likes you is one of the most endearing things you could experience. So I continued acting on emotion, texting her how much I cared about her and wanting to get together all the time. But guess what ! once again....I failed
You see I thought we were on the same page, to this day i don't know if that night was an act or she is just extremely loopy. But since that night, she's been missing in action. Won't return my texts or answer my calls. I feel like the crazy girl in the situation who won't leave the guy alone. I started becoming jealous thinking there were other guys in the picture (which most likely they were) and most importantly, I was NOT being myself at all. I even made a point of doing other plans that week so it looked like I had alot going on (even though all I wanted to do was spend time with her) She most likely smelled my desperation and rather than telling me off, she leaves me in limbo. Again girls not a fan of the "wasting my time" if you don't like guy just tell him off please !
To this day I haven't heard much from her since and I have thankfully sobered up in my logical thinking. I'm finally back to original Wally Cleaver, not to be confused with Mrs Cleaver. The problem is that I knew the entire time what I SHOULD have been doing in each situation as a man, instead I acted like a girl. I'm not going to beat myself up, some things just don't naturally work out, I just wish I had trusted my logic because this is the first time I've done this. Most likely she is nailing some other guy who is probably going to treat her like shit and I was just the flavor of the week, I'll never know
The point is, I learned a valuable lesson that I should always trust "guy" logic, over emotion. I don't ever think I appeared too obsessive, but its a constant reminder that being a challenge for a girl always works out better in the end. I would have treated this girl like gold and had she been along for the ride and I know we would have had an amazing time. But the main thing I have to realize is no matter what, I have to find someone who is going to appreciate me for who I am. I also can't force a situation, things should be easy in a relationship, not complicated.
I wrote this article for two reasons, so guys can understand that you MUST MUST MUST be a challenge and more importantly a real "man" for a woman, and secondly this gives me some closure as I walk to greater pastures in the bedroom. I wish her all the best and I'm interested to see whats in store for Wally next !
