“I’ve lived on my own for five years, I don’t know how to be quiet,” was the answer to the question posed by Abz.
Back up a minute. Let me tell you from where this answer spawned. Abz and I were sitting at a bar for our weekly business meeting (and by business meeting I actually mean our weekly gossip session and story exchange). We were tackling a tricky topic. I’d slept with someone I probably shouldn’t have and we were trying to figure out if this fact was a secret. The sex had taken place during the earliest hours of the morning, while other people were passed out in various rooms throughout the abode. We figured no one else would have suspected anything… unless they heard us. Which brings me to Abz’s seemingly simple question, “Were you quiet?”
Truthfully, I am not sure if I am really all that loud in bed, but it’s not something I’ve had to be conscious of since my high school days. I never take volume control (or lack there of) into consideration during the deed. I mean, I’m not usually a screamer but I’m also not one to hold back.
Take for example, another situation: I spent the night co-piloting a bed and we shared a great connection (thus why I spent the night). In the morning, we took off for round two. It was great, until about ten minutes post-landing when I realized how clearly I could hear his roommate out in the kitchen. It was evident that industrial strength soundproof walls did not surround us. The roommate’s kitchen bustle was so clear that I could actually distinguish that he was eating cereal for breakfast. Trying to placate my nerves by telling myself, “He probably didn’t hear anything,” was a total waste of time. My walk of shame out of the apartment was extra shameful because I knew his roommate could now put a face to the moans.
Awkward.
We’ve all been on the opposite end of things. Sitting there in the living room, reminiscing about the debauchery from the night prior, when all of a sudden the room gets quiet and filled – all at the same time – with the muffled sounds of sex. Your friends are doing it in the other room and it’s fucking hilarious. It’s always hilarious. And ten minutes later when they appear from the confines of their room, it’s still hilarious!
How loud is too loud? How quiet is too quiet?
How do you know if you’re too loud or too quiet?
