It’s becoming more evident that the male species is slowly deteriorating right before our eyes. Now this isn’t a male chauvinistic rant, I’m not Napoleon; you don't see me out on a ledge, I’m simply a realist. I pose a question, what happened to all the REAL men out there? What happened to the 50’s when there were cowboys, and Marlboro Men? Which are now replaced with Teenage vampire slayers and hipsters at Starbucks carrying bookbags. In society right now, there are 4 types of men, but first let’s look at some of the problems.
I blame Hollywood for the most part, which I think any guy out there will admit was the only bit of formal education in dating growing up (Unless you had a dad that gave good women advice....mine didn’t). So we resort to TV and movies for a glimpse on how things work, and boy could they portray an image further from the truth. Let’s go back to the year 2004 with the popular teen drama called “The O.C.” Seth Cohen was portrayed as this geeky, anti social loser, who was witty and smart. Incidentally Seth has a crush on a girl (way out of his league) named Summer, and exudes quirky and funny comments in an attempt to win her over. Where the shows loses some credibility is that they make it out like Summer has no friends and therefore she spends countless hours with Seth like she has nothing better to do. If Summer was really that popular, she wouldn’t bother hanging out with him because for starters he is a loser, and secondly she would have other options (because she after all she is popular). Seth comes across on the show as really annoying and somehow after weeks it works? What? A few episodes later she is all over him like Kayne West on an acceptance speech. Meanwhile he has built like zero sexual attraction with her, let alone any form of attraction. As a result, young men across the world watching this believe, “hey this might actually work” Sadly it doesn’t. Those men continue to exude no game, and remain sexually frustrated. Others have survived through trial and error, others are complete naturals and finally some men are just huge liars. Without further a due I give you the 4 categories.
Men who are having Sex
This represents the slight majority in our society today and they can be divided into two categories: Casualty dating, and relationships guys. Casually dating guys have a decent sex life; date on and off every once in a while. Most of these guys know what they are doing and they aren’t flashy about it (which proves they are getting some...more on that later). They are successful in life, and are completely happy with who they are. They don’t stress out about women because they know they will always be there. On the flip side, there are those in long-term relationships, who are frequently getting some, but also have problems of their own. Some guys (and girls) are in relationships for the wrong reasons. For example some are still sticking it out because of desperation and fear of loneliness. Some have been highschool sweethearts and were lucky to still be with the same girl. They act like they “could” survive on their own, but really they wouldn’t have a clue what that would be like. Then there are the guys who are fortunate enough being in balanced relationship where both parties are happy and are expecting wedding bells in the future, a goal we all strive for. Either way if you’re having sex good job !
Men who are having LOTS of sex
A wise man once said “I’d rather have a morning of awkwardness than a night of loneliness” (That wise man being Hank Moody from Californication) This represents a small minority of men out there and really making up for those who aren’t having sex at all. Standards aren’t entirely important, although they enjoy a challenge. These are guys who are constantly single; know exactly the right emotional switches to turn women on, keeps the girls interested. Generally these are the types of guys who juggle a few girls at once, or at the very least have a few booty calls on speed dial. They are the REAL men, the no shit, brutally honest and generally very career oriented. What’s interesting is that most people don’t know who these men are. Why you ask? Because as we all know, the guys who get laid the most are the ones who don’t talk about it. While maybe it’s unhealthy to be living such an extreme lifestyle, these are the men who like to live in the moment, and to the fullest.
Men who aren’t having sex
This represents a much larger minority than the men I just mentioned. There are four types of non-sex guys. First there are the religious guys, the ones who choose to wait until marriage and unfortunately don’t get to “check the engine before they drive the car” While I can respect someone’s decision to wait until marriage, I also look at the ever-increasing divorce rate statistics. On a similar path, there are guys who choose to wait, not by choice, but simply because they have given up all hope. These are the guys are in the most trouble socially. They generally are boring, uninteresting and socially awkward. They’ve saved up all the money on NOT dating and instead spent it on drugs, video games or porn. They are the really “nice guys” who constantly hear those famous words “let’s just be friends”. This category is the most sexually frustrated, based on all the hard work they have put in. This group is the most influenced by Hollywood and therefore the most brainwashed. These guys have lots girlfriends (ie: Friends who are girls), who use them for guy advice, shopping and many other metrosexual activities. While girls may proclaim they want nice guys, what they fail to mention is that “normal and nice” is sometimes boring and unattractive. These are the guys who put their relationship status on Facebook to looking for “dating/a relationship” screaming to the world how desperate they are.
Then there are the nice guys (usually attractive) who succeed in relationships, but it’s only for a short period of time. Things will be going well about a month into the relationship, when the guy’s emotions (or rather Hollywood brainwashing) will kick in. These are things like telling the girl he is in love with her, which ruins any chances having sex or going further with the relationship. Other things like posting a girlfriends picture on Facebook captioning “see this girl right here, words can’t describe how amazing you are” While it’s a nice gesture, many will point out how desperate and obsessive it is. Keep the love stuff to yourself and NOT on cyberstapce. Let’s be honest, there are plenty of guys reading this right now who know someone (or have done so themselves) something along these lines before, which are filed under “embarrassing moments in my life”
Men who say they are having lots sex, but aren’t
The worst part about this is I know LOTS of guys who fit into this category. Those who idolize the fratboy wetdream of Stifler from American Pie. You know who I’m talking about, the guys with unreasonably expensive t-shirts (like Ed Hardy or Affliction), and usually taking steroids and have one of the following occupations, model, bartender, club promoter, personal trainer etc. You will typically find these are the guys who constantly brag about sex, talk about all the numbers they got, and all the girls they have been with. I ask all these men one question, if you’re getting laid all the time “Why are you constantly bragging about it?” Shouldn’t it be assumed? The answer is that they AREN’T getting any, and it’s just a front. Google Brody Jenner and you’ll see what I mean.
The Solution
Hopefully more men will learn the true and honest ways of conversation among women. Remember guys, honestly is the best policy, and quality is always better than quantity.
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