I'm in a weird place in my life. My new life of working out, eating right and building stronger friendships has taken some of my focus from the blog. I think that's healthy truthfully, yet I hate the thought of giving it up. It's been instrumental for helping me focus on my strengths. One of my strengths is creativity, and this is an outlet for it, another is communication - again another fantastic forum.
I've recently become aware of my loneliness. I'm fortunate to have friends and family, yet I desire a romantic, loving connection. I can't sit by and let the days, months and years pass while I document it, or at least I can't sit idly by. I've once again gone back to online dating site and hope that this time there will be a connection. I feel good about me right now. Perhaps this good feeling will help me send out the vibe I believe was there all along. We shall see.
Interestingly my profile is being blocked from several members I'd be interested in seeing. This may be paranoid but I believe it to be true - I'm pretty sure one of my past dates has complained about me to the moderators and said I solicit for intimate encounters. I say this because some men I've tried to contact indicate who they won't accept messages from and I don't fit any category and yet the common theme among them is they won't accept from women who've solicited for intimate encounters. I think this jerk decided to make my reputation tainted by reporting this falsehood to the agency. It's embarrassing. I decided to address it head on in my profile and say I have never nor would never be interested in soliciting for intimate encounters. I did have a couple men who were choked I wouldn't see them again - it could be one of them - it could even be alpha-ex. Who knows.
I have been asked out already - first day back and I'm heading for coffeeville. I'll go, who knows...all it takes is the right guy, right time and right place. The rest would be history.
