A few weeks ago, my friend, oh let’s call her Emma, set me up on a blind date with her boyfriend’s friend (gotta love it when that happens), let’s call him Charlie. I met him at a local bar, and the evening began. Charlie seemed nice enough, a little more shy than I thought he would be since Emma hyped him up as being “super outgoing.” So, I really threw myself into being the extroverted one, in order to compensate for his less-than-enthusiastic personality.
We talked about family, college, jobs, interests…you know, the usual first date stuff. After the first 45 minutes or so, I realized that I wasn’t all that into him but I couldn’t figure out why. He was cute, funny, he had a steady job, and we had a few similar interests. What was off? Why was I being so picky? I was stumped.
Soon after that, Emma and her boyfriend joined us for late night happy hour. Of course, she asked me how it was going and I replied with “GOOD!” How was I supposed to let her know that I wasn’t into him when he was sitting across from me?
Mid-margarita-sip, I had a revelation. Charlie hated a lot of things, and not just things like, world hunger or city traffic. He seemed to hate almost everything I liked. Yea, we had a few things in common like types of movies and music and loving to spend time with family, but other than that it seemed he hated everything I liked doing or places I liked going. What surprised me most of all was how VOCAL he was about it! If I don’t like something that someone else likes, I keep my mouth shut. But he loved to say, “You enjoy hiking? I HATE it.” “You REALLY like that place? I HATE it there. It’s so *insert your own nasty adjectives here.*”
Are you kidding me? Obviously, this guy missed Dating 101. If you’re interested in a girl, DON’T hate on things she likes! Once I realized why I wasn’t into him, I started noticing every little thing that I didn’t like about him. Ladies, am I the only one that does this?! He was in the army, and I’ve always said I won’t be with someone in the military. I’m a tall girl and he was maybe only an inch taller than me. He was TOO into sports, if you know what I mean. When our friends got there, Charlie brought up a personal story from my childhood that I had told him and basically made fun of it. Not. Cool. From that moment on, I was nice enough, but I wasn’t flirty or going to go out of my way to get to know him any better since I had already decided there would NOT be a date number two.
At the end of the night, Charlie and I said goodbye, there was an awkward side-hug (as there always seems to be in situations like this!), and we went our separate ways. I was absolutely FLOORED when he asked me on a second date a few days later. I graciously declined and seriously considered telling him that the main reason I said no was because of his hatred towards things I liked.
Ladies if you can take away anything from my story take this: dating someone who feels negativity so strongly is not a good way to start any relationship. Someone who “hates” everything will get really old, really fast. So toss those haters and hold out for the lovers. :)
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missmba.wordpress.com
Julia is a writer passionate about health, fitness & blogging. When she's not running her dog she can sometimes be found writing about laser liposuction, cooking and a myriad of other topics.
