I'm sure your readers would be really interested to hear about how he ended up capturing your heart so strongly - you're a sharp, attractive, Game-aware woman, so it'd be rather intriguing to hear your insights on what worked and what didn't. I especially like how you pointed out the mix of alpha and beta qualities, and would like to hear more about how that impacts you.
Great questions, thanks Veskrashens journey. For those of you haven't read my blog before here's a quick synopsis. Was involved in a serious ltr for many years and met the man when I was 20. After it ended I took time off from relationships to get better this was a lengthy process. I've been dating and have had several relationships over the last three years. No one serious. Some have been serious about me and would have married me. Others I could see I would have gotten serious for but they ended it prior to the Love word being shared. Till now...
When we (current relationship) first met it was physical attraction/chemistry for me. I don't know what it was but I wanted to keep touching him. We had wine in a restaurant and he sat beside me in a booth. Ordinarily this would weird me out on a first date but I wanted him near me. We did not sleep together this night. I don't have 'rules' per se, but I've never been a first nighter chick. Just gotta say I wanted to. I went home, he went to a friends because he lives out of town. The next day I asked him if he wanted to do a day trip to the mountains (about 3 hours away). He answered if it meant more time with me, then great. He was easy to be with and the chemistry was just as strong as the previous night. I drove my jeep and he touched me frequently - soft yet knowing touches. I was turned on. He started teasing me about an impending storm (there wasn't one) and how it be unsafe to drive home the same day. I knew he wanted to stay overnight. I went with the joke and said it would be terribly dangerous to drive, needless to say we booked a hotel. I won't go into detail but honestly best sex ever. Sexually we are well matched - impossibly high drives combined with open mindedness.
When I say he's a mix of alpha and beta qualities I mean this. Alpha - has looks, good job, experience both in life and sexually and could attract women (and has) of any age. He's also quiet, which makes him a bit of an enigma. He's distant without being cold/cool about it. He knows what he wants and would't tolerate drama or bitchyness and yet says this in a way that's not demanding or controlling - just is. Beta - seeks shared values, tender, looks beyond the physical, expects monogamy on both sides, desires to be passionately in love with the whole person, not just the package. Allows himself to be vulnerable by being honest about his challenges.
I wasn't sure at first if this guy was a player. He seemed too fantasticly matched for me to be real, and reading at Roissy doesn't help honestly. You get somewhat biased in regards to men's playboy desires and forget that men and women desire love and connection for realz. Yet I think I've learned a lot from Roissy's blog about what men want. I've learned not to shit test and to give men their space. I've learned that my feminine nature is desired and that being good natured is not a bad thing. I work harder at not over analyzing what's going on in his head and have learned that being patient has won his heart faster than any demands I could have made. Even in a recent episode where I thought he wasn't interested I didn't go bat shit crazy. Long story short he was dealing with some pretty crazy life crap unrelated to me and I've learned he withdraws to his man cave to deal with it rather than seek support. Once we were able to talk I told him I understood and I wouldn't pressure him to reveal anymore than he wanted to. This true support has allowed him to relax and he says his shoulder were able to drop in relief knowing he could share if he chose.
Today he said one of things he loves about me is I always laugh, even at the annoying things others bitch about. This is true. I am a very positive person and see the glass half full pretty much always. I think this may be a personality trait and one I'm fortunate to have. That said I've had men in my life who haven't enjoyed that at all. I think they might have believed I was too easy to please and they wanted more chase than they had to do for me. Chasing a woman means they have higher value because they've been able to capture the 'prey'. I don't make men I'm interested in chase me. I have been choosy, but when I'm interested I have no desire in playing hard to get. I am the kind of girl who loves to be devoted and am rather service oriented to her man. Believe it or not men don't always like that.
I'm a woman newly in love and feeling like shouting it from the mountain tops. This relationship is only six months strong but he's darn convincing that it will go the distance. Moving in will be a big step, but for whatever reason I feel it's the right decision. I've waited a long time to meet the guy who makes me feel this way and I feel I've got enough discernment to judge character and intent. I'm feeling very fortunate. It's been worth the journey.
Side Note:
He knows I write a blog. He has no interest in reading it, in fact dealt with the news like "ah, cute, she's got a hobby." I find this attractive too. He's into me but not soooo into me he needs to know everything about me nor is he jealous others know about me. He's not on Facebook and has seen mine with barely any attention paid to it. He doesn't care how many friends I have or if past boyfriends are on it. He's a confident man who trusts in his ability to capture my attention. He has it.
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