Let me tell you about my husband. He is wonderful: Kind, funny, attractive, tall, hard working, and loyal. He has a job, he is responsible, and he treats me with the upmost respect.
You probably think I am going to turn around and make some joke about how he doesn’t actually exist. Well, you’re wrong. He is not a figment of my imagination: he is a living, breathing friend of mine. True, he’s not technically my husband but he might as well be.
I met The Husband in high school and we were good friends for those four years. We have since maintained something along the lines of friendship via occasional meetings, facebook, and our natural connection. We’ve never actually dated, but we will inevitably end up married. This is not news to him, me, nor our friends and family. Everyone knows, and has always known, that The Husband will someday become Mr. Elle.
The reason that we’re not dating now is the same reason that we weren’t dating in high school: he’s the kind of guy you marry, not the kind of guy you waste on a young, foolish relationship. (Oh, it also might have to do with the fact that he has a girlfriend… right… oops!) He’s shelved. He’s put away for the day when I hang up my single shoes.
But, right now, I LOVE these shoes. They are my favourite shoes. They are so fucking comfortable and they look great with everything. Translation: I’m happy being single and, right now, I would rather be single than be anything else.
A lot of people are single or have been single, but very few know how to BE SINGLE. There is a very big difference between being single and Being Single.
If an individual is single he or she is simply “not with someone.” If, on the other hand, an individual is Being Single than he or she is simply some one. Get it? Got it? Good!
Being Single is liberating. I feel good. I like who I am. I’m content with my life; I do not choose to see the lack of a significant other as loneliness. A person who is single sees their life as having a void. One who is Being Single sees that “void” as an opportunity: to meet new people, to spend time with important people, or to get to know oneself.
When we are in a relationship we become half of a unit. We focus as much – or more – energy and effort on the other person. When we are single we spend so much time trying to become half of a unit. We focus so much – or all – of our energy and effort on finding and obtaining the other person. The best thing we can bring to a relationship is our true self; yet, we so rarely get to know who we are. When one embraces Being Single he or she is able to free his or herself from the obligations to a, sometimes elusive, other. One is able to focus on the happiness, health, and life of his or herself – exclusively. Selfishness is the stepping-stone to selflessness.
I love Being Single. Right now, I’m focused on me, Me, ME! I know I could offer someone a very committed, respectful, happy partnership, but that doesn’t mean that I have to. I also have no intention on settling on a person who is incapable of Being Single. If he can’t Be Single he won’t be able to bring his true self to the table. Essentially, the relationship will be doomed before it has begun.
Be Single. Be Free. Be Happy. BE YOU!
