This blog is magical. Seriously.
Every once and a while, I go through a dry spell. Okay, I’m regularly in a dry spell (what? I work like a bizillion hours a week. Plus, the guys around here are losers). Dry spells usually, obviously, equal a lack of down and dirrrty material for me to write about. Thus, on occasion, I have had to resort to fiction. Rarely do I post something that is entirely fictitious but there have been moments.
For example, Insomniatic Sleepover was fake. It was loosely based on a compilation of nights that resembled aspects of the post. The actual boy and sequence in the story were not real. (Do you feel betrayed? I’m sorry.)
There was one other time that I fabricated the truth. On this occasion I lied out of every pore on my body. It was 110% made up. I never posted it. In fact, it was scheduled to be posted on a Monday morning at 8:03, but I ended up taking it down prior to it’s release. It’s since been sitting in my “I’ll post this someday… probably… maybe…” pile of posts that I’m too ashamed to expose.
“Why?” you ask, “Why take it down?”
Well the answer to that question leads me to today’s topic: The Power of The Blog.
Like I said, this blog is magical. It has some weird psychic ability to predict the future. Seriously. No, I’m really truly serious… it’s fucking MAGIC!
On both the occasions discussed above (in addition to some other miniscule examples), the blog has predicted the future. Following the post on Insomiatic Sleepover I met that boy, I went swimming at 3:00am, I played in his bed, and then I spent the rest of the night/morning battling with insomnia. In other words: the post came true! Our relationship was in fact doomed and lasted about as long as our swimming session. I shouldn’t have written that last line.
The reason why I decided not to publish the second article in question falls along the same lines. The post is/was about a very specific boy and a very specific scenario. It was so specific that said boy would absolutely, without question, for sure know it was about him by reading the title alone. EXCEPT… The article WASN’T about him. It WASN’T ABOUT ANYONE! It was a fake. It was a spawn of my imagination: Or at least it was until I put it onto The Blog.
Two days prior to the article’s scheduled posting date: I MET THE BOY, and I EXPERIENCED THE SCENARIO!! WTF? Needless to say I was a little baffled, but that’s when I realized it: the blog is magic!
To prove my point further I will give you one final example. This, very early, morning I got a text from a friend who also happens to be an author on this blog. The text message indicated that a topic the author had recently discussed had become a reality. *coughwallycleavercougholderwomancough* BAM! It’s NOT just me. It’s not just a weird coincidence. It’s the mother fucking power of the mother fucking blog!!!!!
So, without further ado…
Tonight I will be having incredibly hot, wild, sexy sex. It will be with an incredibly hot, wild, sexy man. In the morning he will give me a kiss, cook me breakfast, and then leave for a humanitarian mission in a third world country.
That is all.
