Maxwell’s short time on the blog has been super successful. He always manages to leave us snickering with his tales about the opposite sex. The epicness of writing for Sex and the Shitty has changed his life so drastically that he started his own blog called Misanthropy Chronicles. You should definitely go check it out -- unless you can't pronounce or don't know the word misanthropy, in which case you will just mostly be confused. (So now you HAVE to go check out his blog or else you're basically waving the white flag and admitting that you are a moron.)
Maxwell’s most recent Sex and the Shitty post was a humorous look at the reality of online dating. It was funny as usual, but while I was reading it one particular line stuck out at me. He said,
“I'm actually pretty open on what you look like. I have some weird idiosyncrasies on looks I won't explain.”
What the fuck? As soon as I read that I couldn’t help but imagine all the fucked up people that he is attracted to. What the hell kind of freak are you Maxwell? What weird fetish do you have that you’re not telling us about?
I closed my browser and went to bed, destined to be haunted by dreams of the weird chicks that were going to win Maxwell over. Presumably, he was already in love with some chick with three eyes and the ability to grow armpit hair on command. He'd never want anything to do with a hot chick like me. I woke up the next morning and I was still too disgruntled to actually comment on the post. Later in the afternoon, as I read the accumulated comments, I came across one from one of my other favorite bloggers, Mrs Pickle:
This cheered me right up. Mrs. Pickle and I think alike because we are both fucking awesome. I e-mailed Mrs. Pickle to tell her my opinion and ponder the possibility that Maxwell is secretly into chicks that look like dudes. We came to the consensus that no blogger can make such a ridiculous comment without being ridiculed, and so we have whipped up a little present for Maxwell. What follows are some images of women whom likely get Maxy-poo’s motor humming. Compliments of Mrs. Pickle and myself.
Chick with a huge hairy mole on her face
Chick with raging eyebrows
Chick with lopsided boobs
(And a fucked up hand)
Chick with a tiny mouth
(And the inability to give filacio)
Chick with a dead conjoined twin still attached to her
Now, go check out the angry venomous words Maxwell spits about society and then hop your ass over to see how fabulous Mrs. Pickle is! Thanks for the laughs you two!
