So, I live in BFE. Seriously BFE. I'm a long way away from any big boy town. Even further from any big boy city. It sucks.
One of my biggest complaints is the dating pool. Pool might be too generous of a term - “algae-infested pond that's barely deep enough to wade in” might be better. To illustrate this fact, I'm going to play a game of increasingly stringent standards on the potential dating pool. I've chosen a popular free dating site to illustrate this point. I've never gone through this procedure before, and I'll be updating this post as I go through the process. You might even call it “live blogging my desperation.” Here's hoping it goes well...
Basic requirements: I'm a dude, and I'm straight. So girls. Age range: 24-34 (yes, that range includes my age). 50 mile radius (that's over a 1.5 hour drive here – I can't be picky in BFE). Go.
700+ results. I didn't believe it when I saw it at first. Win!
Next filter: No kids. No offense to anyone with children, but I hate kids. They're like tiny drunken needy stupid people. Aside from my opinions on children, I'm too damn selfish for kids, and I refuse to be thrust into a step-dad position. No kids.
429 results. Ok.. At least the women here are easy.
Next filter: No drugs, no smoking. I don't particularly care if you smoke, hit the crack pipe, etc. I just don't want to date someone I refuse to kiss.
256 results. Where the fuck to I live that this filters out this many people?!?
Next filter: I would really like someone with an education. I'm over-educated, but I don't need that. A college degree is really all I ask for. At least you have good job opportunities (in theory) and a good something to talk about.
90 results. Are you fucking kidding me? I've eliminated two-thirds of the people by wishing they've gone to college?!? Fuck me...
Next filter: I don't think this is unreasonable, but at first pass, I'm not going to look at anyone who hasn't been active in the last week. I really just want someone who will respond to my messages, should that be in her interest, not someone who might see my message a ways down the road...
31 results. Oh shit. I've narrowed my dating pool to 31 people based on what I perceive to be minimal criteria? I'm going to die alone...
And I'm not done.... Final Filter: I'm actually pretty open on what you look like. I have some weird idiosyncrasies on looks I won't explain, but I do want to make sure I'm at least minimally attracted to you. So you've got to have a picture.
27 results. Oh god.
So, after imposing my own personal minimal criteria, I'm down to 27 potential women to date. This doesn't include whether or not they are even remotely interesting to me. Holy shit – I'm afraid I may have even been too generous above. The “dating muddy puddle with a dead rat floating in it” here sucks.
Now, if you want to see me turn into a judgmental prick and evaluate these 27 potential matches, *coughshamelessplugcough* check out my own blog for Part 2.
