It dawned on me the other day that its been around 2 years since I've been in a serious relationship. I was looking back at all the accomplishments I've achieved during that span both in my career and all the hookups/awesome stories (which viewers of this blog have had the pleasure of reading). I can honestly say looking back, I definitely made the right choice.
We all have a reason to wake up every morning and that's to achieve growth. Without growth, whats the point in living? These areas of growth that I strive towards are my health, my career and of course that desert oasis being some girl who can hold my attention long enough that I'll actually want to date her (a girlfriend).
Two years for some may be a long time, but I've been consistent in my choices for courtship during that period and I've remained happy, viewing women as simply that "extra bonus" in my life (as opposed to my ultimate happiness). Recently I saw a couple holding hands and made the sarcastic comment to a friend, "Dude you can loosen the grip, I'm sure as hell not going to hit on her." Yes I'm an asshole, but it brings me to a bigger point.
While I experience countless nights of loneliness, I'm not stuck with some girl as an insurance policy for my insecurities. I'm not going to date a girl because she likes me and it's easy bait. It's for a greater cause, being that I don't "chase" women due to my high standards. When I say "chase" I'm implying after I've had a date with a girl, I'm not going to keep bothering her. She must recipicate, there has to be attraction on her end. These standards are reasonable, and I believe they reflect well of who I am: an attractive, confident, career oriented, guy who can light up a room with his personality. Here is my general list when it comes to dating a girl (so for the female readers you can indulge into the twenty something brain of a man for 30 seconds):
First off ladies, it starts off and ends with looks. Its simple, I'm attracted or I'm not attracted. Tucker Max says it best "We don't give a fuck about your shoes. We care about your body. Go to the gym, not the mall"
1) Sexy and Confident- The type of girl who lights up a room without saying a word. Can dress up and dress down for any occasion. Lets put it this way: when I'm holding hands with a girl, as a guy there is not a better feeling, than eyes roaming every angle at you because the best looking girl in the room is by your side.
2) Gym/Healthy lifestyle. I love when women get so offended when guys mention they want a girl to actually keep care of themselves. I go to the gym anywhere from 3-5 days a week and I work more than 40 hours a week. If I can do it, so can you, and I'm the gender where looks don't matter as much remember? It takes years to develop an amazing personality, it takes weeks to change your look. Make smart choices in what you eat and learn to train properly. On the same token, no guy finds broom stick bimbo with a coke addiction sexy either
3) Happy in your career- I don't care if you work at McDonalds, if you're ambitious and happy with what you do, that's all I need. Not working at all, or worse complaining constantly about how much you hate your job, not attractive.
4) Solid family and friends- You're friends/family are a reflection of who you are. If you have many of them, it implies you're easy going and you are trustworthy, two qualities that are deal breakers when it comes to dating me.
5) Dynamite in bed, open to suggestion- Sex can make or break a relationship. The sex HAS TO (and I can't emphasise this more) BE AMAZING. Great sex doesn't last forever, but lets hope we're still open to suggestion to keep the sex life fresh. Its like Ludacris says, "we want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed."
Bonus Points- A hockey fan, was a cheerleader in the past (and still has the outfit), likes beer/wings, loves to travel, is bi-sexual, owns a cat, played sports in high school, has cool brothers.
Like I mentioned before this list is pretty reasonable, but my biggest problem is once I get past step 1 (Sexy/Confident) MOST of these girls either have boyfriends, aren't interested or are in that hidden cave where Bin Laden was living all those years. The majority of the girls I hookup with are attractive, but average girls, with pretty cool personalities. They make great friends, just not girlfriends. Many women reading this will say "well stop being so picky" but in all honestly I know my worth on the open market, now is not the time to sell Mr Gecko.
So here I sit, writing this article and knowing that in due time, I'll find my Leighton Meester. I'll continue to go to bars, dabbling in my online dating and hope for the best. As long as I'm happy, I'll keep my running shoes in my locker (because you don't chase women, they run too fast!)
