That said, there is potential I'm over reacting to something, but at this moment in time it doesn't feel like it.
Scenario:
- He's away on a trip. He's been away before and we don't have contact while he's away, or very little.
- This time he made a lot of contact with me the first week. (I don't prompt contact out of respect, if he wants to talk to me while away he gets ahold of me)
- Some the second week
- Then an absence of contact for four days and I contacted him by text. I was worried he'd been in an accident (true story). He had said he'd call me three days earlier and hadn't. He responded fairly quickly with a text saying my number had been deleted but he'd call me that night. I advised him to have a back up number for me so I didn't worry, he replied "I do". It seemed short and I asked if he and I were ok and I didn't hear back.
- That night he called me twice. One 2 minute call and one 25 sec call, he seemed very distracted and said he'd call me the next day with more details on what was happening, he said not to worry and after I said "I love you", he said it too.
- He didn't call the next day.
- He didn't call the day after that.
- He text me the 3rd day early in the morning. "Gm, I'm in (names place), xoxox have nice day"
- I don't see the text for an hour and text "Gm. xox U2 :)" I feel this is a great reply because it's not overly dramatic after a period of three days without a call, but then I wonder if it sounds to doormatty.
- The next day I send a text saying "Gm. Call me today if you can k. xxx". I'm ticked that he had promised to call but all I received was a text 2 days after I was supposed to get a call and I want to call him on it. I don't do this by text, I want to talk to him on the phone.
- I don't hear from him for two more days, no phone call or texts.
- Then on the morning of the 3rd day without contact "Hi. :) I stayed a few days (here), lovely! Will be (here) tonight, how r u? Yes promise, tonight :) xox" The promise I assume is referring to a phone call that night.
- I don't text him for 3 hours and say "kk. sounds good :)" I'm keeping it light, don't want to sound all bitchy, but the wait time was deliberate on my part. I don't want him to think I'm waiting by the phone for his texts when in fact I am.
- No call by 10pm his time. I text "what time is it your time?" I want to prompt him.
- No call by 10:45 pm his time. I text "Was your promise a real promise or a 'real' promise. It's late your time no?"
- Nothing.
- Nothing and as of right now it's 10am his time.
WTF! I'm very low on pressure in real life. I'm low on pressure in my relationships. I'm low on pressure in this relationship. I pride myself on it. Now I feel this low pressure is just making me look desperate and accepting of shit.
To be fair he hasn't behaved like an asshole towards me in person or otherwise, but we have had some difficulty with communication. He's admitted that when he struggles he will pull away and not reach out. I know he's going through some family dynamic stuff and the likelihood this is all about me is slim. That said I feel like he's being disrespectful towards me. I should add that we were supposed to holiday together for a week, and my understanding was it was this week. He didn't clarify dates because he wanted to see what happened while he was away, but there's been no discussion of time together because we're not communicating. Is he avoiding the topic? Who the fuck knows. I just know that he needed to keep me in the loop. At the very least I expect a call when promised and/or a text saying its impossible. I expect him to tell me plans have changed, but I'm a priority for him when he returns. etc etc.
I will not text him again. I sent those two prompts last night in the hope that he'd get the message. Whatever is going on in his life I'm clearly not taking a place in it. It sucks and hurts.
I do like aloofness in a guy, but I think this may be a bit of overkill if you ask me.
I have no idea what's going to happen next...
