Disguises come in all shapes and sizes, and whether it’s intentional or not, we all have an “other” self. I’m talking about the person we are with our friends, compared to who we are with our grandparents. How we act around a perfect stranger, and how we act around people we’ve known our whole lives. We are both liars and saints, it just depends on the who, the what, the when, and the where. I meet a guy who loves fishing, well guess what?? I won a fishing derby when I was thirteen (do I even know how to fish?) I do in fact know how to fish... but there’s no chance in hell I ever won any fishing derby, it’s just a little white lie I can get away with to impress him – unless he asks any one of my family members. So knowing that we all have a bit of the liar, and a bit of the saint inside of us, how do we recognize which is which in a new lover? When he/she’s just too good to be true, are they a liar or a saint?
Take for example this completely hypothetical situation...
A beautiful young lady in her mid-twenties named X had recently begun hanging out/dating a new prospect named B. They had been in high school, but having both moved away for university, they re-kindled a flirtatious friendship after returning post-studies to their hometown. Excited to see each other once again, B immediately told X how happy he was to see her, how beautiful she looked, how thrilled he was she was single, and how much he adored her in high school. X was also thrilled by how great he looked, how much he had matured, and his obvious adoration for her didn’t hurt. They decided to date. X made it clear from the very first date that in order for sex to go down, B would have to put in a significant amount of time and the L word would have to be present. B said he would wait and work for as long as X needed.
Two weeks into dating, something went array. X and B had spoken earlier that morning, “Hey beautiful, how are you this morning? How was your sleep? I have to go to work now I’ll call you on my break.” So when break time came around, and X didn’t get a call, she thought... hmmm... oh well he’s probably busy. She texted him and got no reply. Hours later, she decided to call him – maybe he had a rough day and she could cheer him up? The call went straight to voice mail. Hmmm... I’ll his facebook, maybe he mentioned on there that he’s having phone issues. Nope... no status updates. So with no success, X went to bed. In the morning X awoke and quickly checked facebook again before going to work... WHAT THE FUCK HE BLOCKED ME. Ignored texts, unanswered phones calls, and now blocked on facebook? This guy was perfect yesterday morning, what happened in a span of the day to make him hate X so much he blocked her? X was hurt, disappointed, and all the other crappy stuff. She sent a mean text. He called her back and left a voicemail saying “I’m having soooo many problems with technology. Someone hacked into my facebook and fucked around with it. I left my phone at my dads and just got it back now. Sorry for making you freak out.” When they finally got in touch with each other later that day, X was still upset, feeling that he should have reached out in some other way to let her know things we’re fine and she didn’t have anything to worry about. But he didn’t, and he didn’t go out of his way to apologize for the miscommunication either. He made her feel like a psycho for caring too much.
So here’s my issue... Did X freak out too much? Or is it possible that B was just a liar disguised as a saint, and that he never liked X as much as he made it seem. If he would wait forever to have sex with her, why couldn’t he find a way to call and say “I’m sorry.”
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