As I began to write the article I started to describe the factors which went something like this:
"We take it all into account, the width, length, girth, etc"
This chain of thought (pervertedly) reminded me about a very traditional love poem. "How do I love thee" was written by Elizabeth Barret Browning sometime in the nineteenth century. This is a poem that I was obsessed with as an innocent, starry-eyed, teenager. Unless you appreciate old literature you probably won't find this the least bit amusing (so stop reading now), but some of you may enjoy my new twist to an old classic:
See Liz's original: here.
How do I judge thee
By Elle
How do I judge thee? Let me count the ways.
I judge thee by the depth and breadth and height
Your peen can reach, when being out of sight.
For the end result being ideal elate,
I judge thee to the level of those come before.
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I judge thee freely, as men judge in strife.
I judge thee purely, don’t expect any praise.
I judge thee with a passion put to use
In my twenty something bitterness.
I judge thee with a love that isn’t there,
With my jaded heart – I judge thee with cynicism,
Smiles, laughter, of all my life – and, if I choose,
I shall but ride and judge many better than you.
