Match.com: Week #1

Now that I am officially settling into my role as Match.com correspondent, I think it's appropriate to provide a brief history of my online dating experiences.  I made my debut into the online dating community just 3 months ago, deciding to actually shell out the cash to find a soulmate after attending my umpteenth wedding alone (and reliving all of my worst junior high dance experiences as I sat alone in the corner, watching all of the happy couples collectively having the best moment of their entire lives right in front of me).  I have given eHarmony and OkCupid a try, and been mildly disappointed with both.  My initial sway towards eHarmony was because reviews said "this is more for relationship-oriented people" and not just dating.  Being bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, I thought "Perfect!  I don't like dating, this is much more up my alley!"  Well, guess what: you have to go on dates just to meet the other human (unless eMarraige is an option?  Which would be way more convenient). 

Part of the component of the "relationship-oriented" approach is that male matches are chosen for you, and given to you as they become available.  Being incredibly high-maintenance, demanding, and picky (i.e. just wanting someone that is over 5'8), I have had zero luck with any of my allocated matches.  This means I am paying to stare at an empty "Who's Looked at Your Profile?" screen... and let's be honest, I don't need to dish out dough to feel inadequate.  I do that all the time for free.

The next step of my online journey was to join OkCupid, which is free.  I figured that if I had the gumption to be attempting online dating at all, I might as well have multiple outlets available.  On OkCupid you can freely communicate with whoever you want... no matches, no restrictions, no soberness... the opposite sex is your oyster.  You know who joins a free dating site with such infinite possibilities?  Everyone.  And apparently their shirtless-abs, too.  I've gotten so many messages from cell-phones in mirrors that I'm not sure if I'm communicating with Rocky IV in the background or his Blackberry.  I've also been approached by many "you're way too good/beautiful/non-smoker/intelligent/mature (the list could go on...) for me, but thought you might want to give me a chance" messages.  Sign. Me. Up!  Are you kidding?  If you think you're inferior, at least give yourself the opportunity for me to learn it and point it out to you to your face.  If we're going to start our relationship with a message that screams "it's a long shot," I probably don't want to see how much further apart we can divide as we grow old together.

Part of the reason I paid for eHarmony was because I thought someone with enough disposable income to join a dating site would at least be able to buy me a dinner or two, because let's be honest - I want a sugar daddy (no, no, I kid... I'm not that shallow... really, I don't care about money... nope, not at allll.....).  In actuality, I assumed that by having to pay to join a site, some of the people I wouldn't be interested in would automatically be weeded out.  Let me just say that my theory proved true.  I am sure there are plenty of decent guys on both sites, as well as douches, but the one OkC date I went on left me paying for my drinks and I've been contacted by way more questionable humans on that site than EH.  I'm not trying to generalize and I think the "right" guy could be on any site (except for maybe that "one night stand" one), but in general - payment was actually one of the benefits of EH.  Too bad it completely sucks otherwise.

So, here I am.  The Final Frontier: Match.com.  With my limited online experience (but yet having been a member of all the major online dating sites, which is somewhat concerning) I must say that I am most excited about this opportunity.  It combines the non-free component of eHarmony, and the freedom to communicate like OkCupid (with hopefully less weirdos).  For what it's worth, I had already made a Match.com profile previous to this correspondent position, but I never bothered to pay the membership fee.  This means I actually have a few emails and "winks" waiting for me... let's hope that Mr. Right has been tempted by my fiscal inability to respond to his messages, as I lack any ounce of self-control at playing "hard to get" unless virtually inhibited.

Week #1.  Mission: eSoulmate commences.  Again.
-Miss Matched